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:	post by Joe/NotCommon at 2004-05-01 19:53:45

ALL THAT REMAINS
Prosthetic
This Darkened Heart
10 songs

Oh boy, here we go. Just the title of this band alone exhausts me. Can you imagine being at a party, and the only guy to talk to is in a metalcore band called All that Remains? What are you supposed to say? "Nice haircut, man, where'd ya get it, Supercuts?" I mean, I am not gonna argue for a second that this band is not good at what they do---the guitarist sounds like fuckin' Yngwie Malmsteen, for Chrissakes---it's all just so overwrought and humorless and unfun that I simply do not know what to with this album. If this was 15 years ago, I could at least melt it down into a potato chip bowl, but I can't even do that. And believe me, listening to it is outta the question. I tried that already and was almost in tears by the second song---and since it's called "The Deepest Gray," that's probably the whole idea. Anyway, in the interest of rock journalism, I will tell you that All That Remains vocalist Phil Labonte used to front Shadows Fall, that this is their second album, that was produced by metalcore superprodcuer Adam Dutkiewicz (Killswitch Engage, From Autumn to Ashes), and that I would rather get shot in the eye with an arrow than either listen to this again, or hang out at a party and talk haircuts with these tedious motherfuckers. How's that for a darkened heart? (Sleazegrinder)

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