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: post by DeOdiumMortis at 2004-04-20 05:54:59
Buy one of those huge Poland Spring bottles, the one that's like 20 or whatever, pour it all over the floor. Get a goat, rub cheese into its fur and hang it from the ceiling over the sink. Smash a couple bottles of wine and leave the bottoms in the cabinets and fridge, still full of as much wine as they'll hold. Put a couple of those walkway stones that are shaped like feet on the floor and nearby tables. Then shove a dead hooker into the oven and leave a note next to the phone that says "your turn to do the dishes."
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