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:	post by Menstrual_Sweatpants_Disco at 2004-04-02 21:46:14

I heard that the back room in bill's bar actually leads to a huge underground laboratory where they combine new forms of technology with some ancient conspiratorial religion to cross-breed llamas with fruit salad in order to engineer an elite race of mutated vine monsters. Using quiet Monday nights to secretly escape Bill's Bar and reek havoc on an unsuspecting city, they will feed on hobo kidneys and dismembered baby hymens in order to maintain their super-intelligence. Once the vine monsters are in power they will abduct the most important of earth's leaders, gain power, and construct an intergalactic star cruiser that enables them to travel into the farthest reaches of space. Millions of years later, after growing weary of their seemingly effortless enslavement of the universe, they will devise methods for time travel and transport themselves back to our time. Once back, they will replace Saturday morning cartoons with video footage of little kids being raped and mutilated, and train naked clowns with autism to break into people's houses and steal their peanut butter jars that they were keeping old hot wheels in. All the while the owners of Bill's Bar will be sitting smug, laughing from their thrones, and sitting on tuna fish sandwiches while reading gay porno.

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