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:	post by DestroyYouAlot at 2009-03-11 17:54:36

IN WHICH DYA INDULGES IN A PSEUDODWYERESQUE ORGY OF NAVEL-GAZING AND PHOTOBUCKET ABUSE - EPIC FAGGOTRY AHEAD, SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK

OH, HAI

So, the "post photos of yourself as a youngster" thread got me scanning in pictures from my parents' house (as well as ones I've been sitting on hard copies of), and there ended up being a lot of them. So now you have to suffer through this. For what it's worth, some of these are pretty funny and/or embarrassing, so now we can all laugh at me more than we normally do. Plus, y'know, I'm turning 30 this weekend, so I'm allowed to get a little introspective, SO BACK OFF ASSHOLE. LOLOLOLOL

Let's read together (Timmy, spit out that gum):

DESTROY YOU A VERY LITTLE

When dad came home my daily ritual was grabbin' his hat and paycheck. Later on I would abandon the "hat" concept.

SMITH FAMILY LARPINSON

Yeah, I'm a second-generation nerd. (Me in the brown, not fucking teal. SRSLY, mom, WTF.) Headed to King Richard's Faire, I think. (There's a Christmas tree, which is weird considering the Faire shuts down in fall, but I don't know where the hell else we would have been going dressed like that.) LIGHTNING BOLT!!! LIGHTNING BOLT!!!

2 FAST, 2 FURIOUS

I fucking ruled at pinewood derby. This is pretty close to the beginning of me being obsessed with building stuff. The old scanner decided that it really wanted this picture to be in 256 colors; I stopped arguing with it after 4 tries.

ON THE MACK

Always was a sucker for girls with huge cans and armor and booze. Even if they did happen to be a pirate. (This was what my parents thought was an entirely appropriate Christmas present for a 14 year old, BTW. I don't know either.)

Below: Man, look at that fucking schnoz. Luckily it would be smashed in repeatedly over the next few years to the point where it acquired at least SOME semblance of a shape that isn't "potato."

WHAT'S THAT

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

HERE LET ME

Lil' Brudder gets his first guitar. I of course immediately take it over, 'cause if someone's gonna suck at guitar, it should at least be me.

THRASHIN' IT UP, FUCKERS

PT 2

Hard at work with my recently-acquired first bass. (Not pictured here due to black-and-whiteitude: It's fucking salmon pink.) This is before Squier showed up, so instead it's some random Korean P-Bass copy. I'm probably about 9 months to a year in playing, here.

DUM DUM DUM DUM FUCK

Note the hair hang. This period of my musical "career" (LOL) would later lead my girlfriend to laugh her ass off whilst seeing Children of Bodom for the first time, due to my near-identical hair swings of 10 or so years before. (Fun fact: Katie and I first met at a birthday party that my first band - the mighty COW - was playing at. Some VFW somewhere. 10 years later, we run into each other, and now after another 6 she still hasn't gotten rid of me.) (There will be totally hilarious COW pictures scanned and posted later on - bonus points to anyone who guesses which members of which current hardcore bands are gonna be wicked pissed at me when this happens.)

EXCITING POSE HERE

This picture is notable for a few reasons - once I can MSPaint up a diagrammed version, this will become more clear, but here are some highlights:
First off, this is my very first Windows-based PC (ver 3.1). PACKARD BELL MOTHERFUCKER
Second, can you tell what my favorite band is? LOLOLOL
Third, yes, that IS a shark fetus preserved in formaldehyde on the dresser - thanks for asking! No, I don't have it anymore. (Around age 19 a lovely landlord I had packed up everything I own and carted it off. Books, vinyl, guitars, my upright bass, the whole lot. I was way too young and drunk to effectively do anything about it in a legal sense, and he was a Boston ex-cop turned epic slumlord - I knew for a fact he didn't even own the place on the books - so nothing ever happened. Therefore I don't own more than a handful of items that are more than 10 years old, at least to me.) The fetus is in the bottle behind Roland, who was my drum machine. A very smart friend of mine thought that you could play it with drum sticks, so Roland broke. Roland was one of those drum machines that electro nerds shit themselves and make massive eBay transactions over. Oh well.

Also, check the 90s undershave. Thank fuck we know better, now.

MAKE READY THE TROOPS

Painting minis. Note freshly-shorn hair - I wouldn't try growing it long for another 8 years or so, when it promptly decide to start FALLING THE FUCK OUT. What the fuck, hair - really? REALLY? Also, I would punch a thousand grandmas to get that Alcoholica shirt back.

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR PART 2: THE THANKFULLY SHORT-LIVED AWKWARD HARDCORE/FACIAL HAIR STAGE

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