I took a look at their Myspace. I scanned it for a few seconds until I found something that satisfied all my theories that this band was a shitty waste of time.

ASYSTOLE writeup in Nov. Issue of Northeast Performer Magazine!

Only poser 30 something year olds that hang out around practice spaces and check out little kids' asses ever give a shit about what goes into Northeast Performer. Only poser bands that get excited over playing sports bars, and pay to play battle of the bands shows would ever give a shit about being talked about in a free magazine that's good for nothing but soaking up cum stains on the floor of a practice space.

You know what I'm talking about? That group of guys that always seem to be hanging around the studio no matter when you're there. They think they have some huge fanbase because they have a regular gig going at Waterworks or some dudeguy bar that people only goto for dollar chickenwings. They'll always try to sell you on their band and tell you "It's way heavier than that WAAF shit." like that's how I gauge my music: in relation to what Opie & Anthony or whoever, think is cool. And one of them always has like a fishing hat on...and a soul patch... and it's all because he's going bald......and they want to tell you stories about the rock star life and all these fairytales about girls they've done......and even though they brag about having huge exposure, and a massive fanbase, and all these gigs they always seem blown away when they find out you're playing a show out of state, or a show at a real venue.

Ya know???

And even though they're playing music that's aimed at teenagers no one under the age of 27 has ever seen them play. And they always have some super glossy looking logo that the bass player made because he goes to night classes on graphic design at a community college. And they always get excited about playing Bills Bar even though there hasn't been a real show at Bill's bar since like 2003. And they always have shitty equipment and Crate amps that most people out grow by the time they're 18, but with a dozen effects pedals and envelope filters and a wah pedal that they don't even use.

Ya know??

AND THEY ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, HAVE GIRLS TANK TOPS!!!!

Nah mean?